| My middle school days were a dark time for me. |
| It was an insular world where the hierarchy was decided on the basis of whether you were funny or could play sports. |
| At school, being bad at sports was fatal. |
| I was skinny and my skin was pale; I caught the eye of the sporty group and was often teased by its members. |
| I barely breathed at school, so intent was I to not stand out, and even after school I'd often spend that time by myself at home so I wouldn't meet my classmates. |
| For me, who had always naturally enjoyed playing games by myself, that was no trouble at all. |
| |
| When I graduated from middle school somehow and entered a high school a little further from my hometown, my older sister gave me a tip: "Make your high school debut and take advantage of that appearance of yours." |
| According to her, regardless of whether I wanted it or not, my appearance made me stand out. |
| That was also the reason I was excessively picked on by the sporty group, so I might as well use it, was my sister's point. |
| Honestly, I wasn't very keen on it, but apparently she thought it was annoying having me in the house year-round, so I was forced to remake my character half under duress. |
| Following the setting sheet my older sister had perfectly made, when I entered high school I made a job change to an unfortunate, sickly, beautiful boy type of character. |
| I'd stare out the window and let out fragile, meaningful sighs, read books listlessly in the library, and excuse myself when it was time for gym class under the guise of a chronic illness...... |
| Which was an absurd strategy from the perspective of someone who knew the truth, but it worked perfectly. |
| Perhaps it was successful because when you become a high school student, your sense of value is different from when you're in middle school. It was a complete win for my older sister's strategy. |
| I was treated graciously by the girls in class as a solitary beautiful boy, and the boys looked out for me too; my status changed so much it disappointed me. |
| So this is what the world's judgement is like, I thought. |
| Playing a made-up character was annoying, but compared to when I was living with my breath held it was far, far easier. |
| |
| One day during those reasonably comfortable days, I happened to be alone in the classroom after school with Tonooka, who was in the same class as me. |
| I was a bit uncomfortable with him since he was what you'd call the rowdy, normie type who was always mucking around in the middle of class, so I tried to go home quickly, but at that moment I carelessly dropped my house key with the "Sir Round Table Knight" mascot attached. |
| "You dropped something." |
| "―ngh." |
| "Huh, this is ―." |
| Looking at Tonooka, who'd picked it up, fall silent, I thought I was gone. |
| Make no mistake, I'd be teased for this full-on nerd keyholder. |
| But Tonooka's reaction was outside of my expectations. |
| "It's Sir Round Table Knight, isn't it! On top of that, it's the bonus for the first press limited release of IV, right!? It sold out in no time, but you did well to buy it, huh!? |
| "Eh......" |
| "Say, do you like games, Chigasaki? That's a surprise!" |
| That's my line, I thought. |
| Surprisingly, Tonooka was also a big fan of the "KniRoun" series. To go even further, he was a legit nerd who was into games in general. |
| But the friends he always hung out with were all normies and didn't have good impressions of nerds, so he'd always hidden it from others. |
| Tonooka and I, who were both lonely because we hid our love of games, taked excitedly about the "KniRoun" series and soon became friends. |
| Unbeknownst to his other friends, the two of us would game together, and in time he even became someone I could call a close friend. |
| Even when I opened up to him about my sickly character, he laughed it off, saying he was playing a normie character too. |
| At that time, I made the first friend I could talk to about anything. |
| |
| Itaru | ......Going to each other's houses and playing tons of games, racing over our progress in RPGs, and sharing our thoughts was really fun. |
| For the first time, I wanted to share the enjoyment I always gained playing games by myself with someone. |
| It was the first time I couldn't wait to go to school the next day because I wanted to hurry up and talk to him. |
| When the Spring Troupe members played games together, it sort of reminded me of that time. |
| Izumi | If you were such good friends, then why...... |
| Itaru | In the summer of my third year of high school...... |
| |
| After I started getting close to Tonooka, who was the centre of the class, there were naturally more opportunities for me to interact with my other classmates. |
| I became able to talk normally bit by bit, and I could be myself enough to almost forget about the sickly character I'd created occasionally. |
| At that time, coincidentally, the topic of the newly released "KniRoun VII" came up with another classmate. |
| This was the first time he'd played the "KniRoun" series, and as I was talking to him about a bunch of things, Tonooka came. |
| When I inadvertently tried to bring him into the conversation too, he made a strange face and left. |
| At the time I just thought I might have been careless for not thinking about the risk of being outed as nerds, but after school the next day...... |
| "That guy's actually a legit nerd, you see." |
| "Ehh~? No way." |
| "He doesn't seem like that at all, though~." |
| "For real, for real. His being sickly's a lie too; he just skips gym class because he seriously sucks at sports. He misses PKs in soccer too. Funny, right." |
| "Ha, for real. I just imagined it a bit, but it was hilarious." |
| "What's with that~. We thought he was sick but he was just skipping; isn't that awful?" |
| At that moment, my head went blank. |
| But before I could think, I'd entered the classroom. |
| The whole time while I passed by the group, whose conversation had ceased unnaturally, gathered what I'd forgotten from the desk and left the classroom, I didn't look at Tonooka's face once. |
| "Oi, wait! Chiga!" |
| "......What?" |
| "―ngh, you can leak my hobbies to the guys in class too," |
| Tonooka's face when he came chasing after me was so awful I laugh remembering it even now. |
| Whether he was angry or on the verge of tears, in any case, I knew he was more flustered than I'd ever seen him. |
| As for me, I'd already erased my anger and hurt, so I was completely calm. |
| "......I won't do something so troublesome. I don't care already." |
| Seeing Tonooka in shock, I felt guilt well up in me at the same time as slight satisfaction, and I quickly left that place. |
| |
| That was my last contact with Tonooka. |
| Because of what happened then, I became bad at forming deep connections with people. |
| The closer you get to people, the more it hurts. |
| I came to think that it was easiest to keep up a facade and communicate with other people from the perfect distance, where they wouldnt be allowed to become excessively involved. |
| |
| Itaru | After that, I was the same all the way up until I joined this theatre. I kept everything to a minimum; I had only a bland, surface-level relationship with everyone. |
| That's how I spent the rest of my high school life, university, and my time as a working adult. |
| But no matter what, I couldn't forget the pleasure of talking with someone about games and sharing memories, so when I was in university I started livestreaming games. |
| Even if I was just enjoying the game on my own, if I uploaded that to the net, the viewers would empathise with that and get excited. |
| Even though it wasn't direct communication, I was more than satisfied. |
| Well, I hadn't thought that it'd be known to Tonooka, though. |
| Sakuya | Is that what happened...... |
| Itaru | ......But after I entered this theatre, I changed again from how I had been. |
| Being open with someone and doing things together, having a deep connection and forming a relationship of trust with them......They're all things I'd avoided until now. |
| I became able to think that those things weren't bad either, if they were with everyone in this theatre. On the contrary, I started to want to share more. |
| Izumi | Itaru-san...... |
| Itaru | That's why even if, in the worst case, I have to stop streaming from now on, it's not an issue. I already have all of you. |
| Accordingly, I'll drag you all in and talk lots about games. |
| Masumi | That's impossible. |
| Itaru | Mean as ever. |
| Sakuya | But is it okay......? |
| Tsuzuru | There are people who look forwards to 《taruchi》's livestreams too, aren't there. |
| Itaru | I'm telling you it's fine. |
| Izumi | (Itaru-san is saying it's okay, but I wonder if it really is.) |
| Chikage | ......Don't be hasty, Chigasaki. |
| Itaru | You're rather fixated on it, huh. As expected of a netizen. |
| Citron | It's still too early to jump to conclusions. |
| Chikage | That's it. |
| Director, we can still hold off on our response to the other party, right? |
| Izumi | Eh? Yes, well, until tomorrow or the day after......Just, we only have three days left until the first day of the performance, so we don't have that much time. |
| Chikage | It's enough. |
| Izumi | Eh, Chikage-san ―? |
| (I wonder if he's got something in mind......) |
| Itaru | ...... |
